The Astonishing Perceptiveness of Young Children.

Have we underestimated the fact that children have incredible perceptivenss?

This is not just a question to ponder; it’s a call to action for educators and stakeholders in the education sector to reevaluate how we engage with the young minds we are shaping.

Children are perceptiveness. They can often sense when something is not right. While our instinct might be to protect them from life’s storms by hiding our emotions, doing so might not be beneficial. Instead, having simple yet honest conversations about feelings can help children feel safe and understood. It’s about balancing sharing emotions and maintaining their sense of security.

The past few months have been challenging. I attended the International Play Association conference and experienced Hurricane Helene. Now, I am home and listening to the news of another Hurricane pommeling the coastline in Florida, plus the ongoing conflict in the Middle East,  there is a deep sense of despair and helplessness. I often think that children are perceptive and wonder about how they must feel when they see the adults in their lives in distress. Should we share our feelings with them or attempt to hide them? On the one hand, you do not want to burden them, but we also know that children are incredibly perceptive and know when something is incorrect. 

Having simple yet honest conversations about feelings and how you handle them can help children feel safe. As hard as the conversations can be, there are some steps that you can take when talking with your children. As adults, we must take care of our own feelings and needs. 

We need to prioritize what is most important and have a planned routine to help other team members feel more at ease during difficult times. Have a backup plan in place, such as asking a colleague to take over while you walk away to breathe and take care of your feelings. Take time to regroup and regain control. Be mindful of your expressions and words and how they impact the children and adults. Remember that it is okay to ask for help. 

The Many Ways Children Use Their Perceptiveness

Children are remarkably perceptive, often seeing through the façade of adult conversations and deciphering complex situations with clarity that surprises many adults. Their minds are not cluttered by the biases and preconceived notions that often cloud adult judgment. This unique ability offers a fresh, unfiltered view of the world, providing insights that are both profound and enlightening.

The Challenge We Face

Despite their perceptiveness capabilities, children are frequently ignored in educational settings. We impose top-down learning methodologies and often fail to value their input. When we don’t recognize that children are perceptive, wen cultivate a culture where the voices of children are stifled, leading to missed opportunities for growth and understanding.

Rethinking Engagement

To address this challenge, and begin to recognize children’s perceptiveness, we need to flip the traditional teacher-centric model on its head. Imagine a classroom where children drive discussions, propose solutions, and their insights are woven into the fabric of the learning process. By shifting towards a more student-centered approach, educators can foster an environment where children feel empowered to express their thoughts and explore creative solutions.

Implementing Change Base on Understanding that Children are Perceptive

1. A Pedagogy of Listening: Make listening to children a priority. Create regular opportunities for them to share their thoughts on various topics, from environment design to rules and expectations.
2. Collaborative Learning: Encourage group projects and peer interactions. These explorations not only engage children’s perceptive skills but also teach collaboration and mutual respect.
3. Feedback Loops: Establish a system where children’s feedback is actively sought and acted upon. This not only validates their opinions but also helps refine teaching methods to better suit their learning styles.

Honoring the Fact That Children are Perceptive by Talking to them About Complex Feelings

To address this challenge, we need to flip the traditional teacher-centric model on its head. Imagine a classroom where children drive discussions, propose solutions, and their insights are woven into the fabric of the learning process. By shifting towards a more child-centered approach, educators can foster an environment where children feel empowered to integrate their perceptiveness, express their thoughts and explore creative solutions.

•  Acknowledge their perceptiveness. Validate their feelings by acknowledging that they’ve noticed something is different. This builds trust and shows them that their feelings are important and valid.
• Be honest yet gentle. Share your feelings in a way that is honest but age-appropriate. Avoid overwhelming them with details they can’t process.
• Teach coping mechanisms. Explain how you manage your emotions. This can offer them models for dealing with their own feelings.
• Let them know that there will always be an adult to take care of them, and asking for help and looking for support is sometimes necessary and essential. Let them know that you ask for help understanding your feelings and how a conversation with a friend can be helpful. Let them know that they are not at fault for what you feel and that you will care for them. 
• Consider children’s developmental stages and adapt the conversation accordingly. Young children are concrete thinkers, and they are also concerned about themselves. They may think they did something to cause you to feel this way. It helps to give children a concrete example of what the symptoms might look or sound like. “”Sometimes, I feel worried and may get grouchy. It feels like I have butterflies in my stomach and do not know what to do. I know this can be scary to you.”” You can then add simple strategies to handle your feelings. “”I am learning to breathe and calm down. I am also watching less TV and going on walks, which helps my body be strong and my mind to be calm.”” This lets them know there is a plan and you have strategies to deal with your feelings. 
• As adults, we don’t often know what is going on, so being honest when you don’t have an answer is helpful. Simply stating, “I don’t know right now, but when I know, I will tell you,” sends the message that you trust them and care enough not to lie or hide your feelings. 
• Remember that feelings are real, and authentically talking about them can help children learn to cope with their own feelings. Resiliency is about finding ways to react to stress positively and flexibly. Denying feelings will not help build resilience. 
• Use group meeting time and group gatherings to discuss what you and the children are feeling. Discuss coping strategies and give children the tools to understand that we all have feelings. We may sometimes express them in inappropriate ways. Learning to show our feelings in more appropriate ways takes time and understanding.

Prioritizing Adult Well-being

Before having these conversations, adults must take care of their own emotional needs:

• Self-Care Is Essential: Prioritize what is most pressing for your well-being. Create a routine that allows you to manage stress effectively.
• Develop a Backup Plan: Have strategies, such as asking a colleague to step in while you take a moment to breathe and collect yourself.
• Mind Your Impact: Be aware of your expressions and words. Children and other adults can be sensitive to these cues.

It’s Okay to Ask for Help

Remember, it’s perfectly okay to ask for help. Whether from friends, colleagues, or professionals, reaching out can provide the support you need to regain balance. By caring for ourselves, we better position ourselves to support the children, fostering an environment where they can learn to handle life’s challenges with resilience and understanding.

In conclusion, approaching these difficult conversations with care and honesty can help children feel more secure and empowered. As adults, we are the calm in their storm, the guiding light in uncertain times. Let’s strive to be the best guides and mentors we can be for the children in our care.

Feelings are real, and now, more than ever, we need to care for ourselves while we guide the young children in our care.